Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999!

-

In my uber-excited post about Juan Pierre, one of my many justifications for ebullience was that Kenny Williams can't just invent a time machine and go back and get a 1983 Rickey Henderson or 1986 Tim Raines, so Pierre was as good as we could have hoped for the 2010 Sox.

But what if he can? I know, it sounds crazy, but bear with me here.

OK, don't bear with me - I'm really just using this line of nonsense to mock Kenny. Because his belief that he can actually go back through time is the only justification I can see for the signings of Omar Vizquel and Andruw Jones, even in limited bench roles.

With a four-man bench (the standard in the Ozzie-Kenny era) and the way Ozzie likes to sit his regulars, these bench guys get a good 300+ ABs. And given that Kenny can't go back through time to 1999, or hell even 2006, the Sox are in for a world of hurt every single one of those times these two come to the plate.

Have you looked at the numbers? In 2006, Andruw Jones was still a force, winning yet another Gold Glove while jacking 41 dongs (after 51 the year previous) and driving in 129 (after a 128-RBI campaign). Since then? He's hit .222, .158, and .214.

Similarly, in 2006, Omar Vizquel hit .295, scored 88 runs, got on base at a .361 clip, stole 24 bases, and was still regarded as one of the best defensive SS in baseball. Since? .247, .222, and then a "resurgent" .266 last year.

These players are shells of what they once were and time just keeps on eroding their skills. Can we really expect a season's worth of solid production, even in a spot role, from these two?

The answer is an iffy "sort of" and a couldn't-be-more-convinced "no." Vizquel will be 43 in April and I definitely don't expect him to match the .260 average he had in Texas, where everyone hits. Instead, I'm expecting him to be back around the .220-.240 range he showed in his last two seasons in SF.

He's no longer a Gold Glove caliber defender, with age robbing him of the range and athleticism that made him one of the best of all time. Vizquel also isn't a big speed threat any more, again due to his advancing age. He's never had much for power or been a great OBA guy (tho he's not terrible at drawing walks). So what will the quadragenarian the give the Sox for the $1.4M he's guaranteed?

Actually, despite the tenor of the post until now, I believe he should give the Sox some decent intangibles and some solid role-playing skills. While he's no longer the game's premier defensive SS, he's still a very solid defender, not making a single error in 62 games. And that was in at least 16 games each at 2B, 3B, and SS. Defensively, Vizquel is a very capable utility infielder.

Vizquel also can still do the little things with his bat. He's never been one to strike out a lot, he can get some occasional walks, and most important to small-ball evangelists like myself, he's one of the games best bunters. Something I noticed in the Pierre press release was that Vizquel was the guy listed as the second active career leader in things like bunt hits, infield hits, and sacrifices.

Some of that is cause he's been around forever (one of only a handful of players still active to have 75+ hits in the 80s), but it's more because Vizquel has long been a guy who does well all the little things the game demands.

So yeah, Vizquel will most likely have a low average and get ripped by the casual fan who expects too much, but the real students of the Sox will notice the little things he does next year to help the team win. Hitting behind runners, bunting people over, taking an extra base on a single, etc etc. And they'll appreciate how he allows Ozzie to sit his infielders without any loss of defense (in fact, Vizquel might be a step up from all three... which just hit me and now has me scared for 2010... damn... I'm going to suppress that notion for a while).

But most of all, at least I hope, the good fans among us will appreciate how we're seeing a new Alexei next year - one fulfilling the mountain of promise he's got, one who no longer dazzles us one night and frustrates the next, but instead puts together a steady campaign - offensively and defensively - that lands him rightfully in talks about the best all-around infielders in baseball.

Alexei has a chance to be either a cornerstone on a very successful batch of Sox ballclubs, or to be a major reason for a string of disappointing seasons. He's really that volatile and that crucial. His defense is SUCH an issue, the way he mentally checks out on so many plays. Given the constant action that a shortstop sees, Alexei's brain lapses were killer last season.

But if put in the right mental state, Alexei could be a real force. He's got all the tools and he's shown for stretches that he can capitalize on those tools to impress both in the field and the batter's box. It's a bit hopeful to assume Vizquel can cure all that ails him, but it's also not outside the realm of reason. Plenty of players "figure it out" and having one of the game's best shortstops ever looking out for you is certainly one way to do it.

So, I'm not in love with how weak Vizquel's production will be, given that he'll surely get a ton of at-bats. And at his age, you have no idea if he'll just lose it completely. But I'm gonna bet that he does enough of those little things I love so much and has enough of a positive effect on Alexei (and Beckham, actually), that Kenny, even w/o a time machine, will be right on this one.


As for Druw Jones? I was iffy at first and tried to talk myself into it being no-risk, with only $1M guaranteed.

But after looking into it, the guy just can't field and just can't hit. I know he used to be the gold standard in center, but that when he wasn't fat, out-of-shape, and disinterested. Last year the Rangers mainly DHd him, only using him in the OF 17 times, and NEVER in center.

I'm gonna repeat that - don't fool yourself into thinking Andruw Jones has to at least be serviceable in center. He's not - he's fallen off completely and become a fielding liability. There's no other explanation for how the Rangers used him defensively last year except that.

And despite playing in Texas, where even the biggest journeyman scrubs have great offensive seasons (Gary Matthews or Milton Bradley, anyone?), Druw hit a whopping .214 with 72 Ks in only 281 ABs! But it gets worse - that .214 was bloated by a red hot April, where he hit .344 and respectable May, where he hit .245. After that? .170 in June, .209 in July, .167 in August, and .179 in September.

Are you freakin kidding me? We're going to give this guy at-bats? A guy who's "best" month of the final four was .209? Two. Oh. Nine. Didn't we see this movie last year, when it was called Dwayne Wise? Don't we know how terribly it ended? And at least he could field and run! I mean those are key skills and Wise clearly had them. Druw can't do either. He's here solely to hit. And he can't do that!!

With the lefty Kotsay already taking the majority of the corner OF ABs, Druw's role will be against lefties. But guess what - Jones hit a whopping .218 against lefties last year, with a mere .395 slugging percentage! Of his 17 HRs, only 4 came against southpaws (despite 45% of his plate appearance coming against them)! This was no great abberation either - over the course of his career, Druw hasn't really hit lefties any better than righties.

So what in the hell do the Sox see here? What they need in that bench spot is a righty who can play center well and give them speed. He doesn't have to hit (we've got Kotsay for that), just field well, be right-handed, and be able to run. Those guys grow on trees. I'm sure Brian Anderson is there for the taking. Joey Gathright. And a million other failed athletic CFs.

As it is, if we're carrying Druw on the roster, we either have to go to a 5th bench player and find some journeyman CF, or we're going to have to move Pierre over to center anytime Rios sits, or we're going to have to deal with yet another garbage CF incapable of playing the spot (remember Rob Mackowiak or the failed Griff Jr. experiment?).

It's possible he'll "turn it around" but what evidence is there of that? Jones has been a bum for three years, under three different coaches (two of them Hall of Famers - Cox and Torre), in three different places. So what possible faith do I have that this year on the Southside will be different?


My hope? At $1M, the Sox are willing to eat his contract, either before breakin Spring Training or after a horrendous April, with minimal damage to the club's chance in 2010. As I said, the spot he's filling is not particularly important. Kotsay will get the majority of the corner OF at-bats as the lefty, so they just need to find a guy who can play against the occasional lefty (and as a buddy of mine pointed out, the AL Central is woefully lacking them outside of Chicago), field his position, and maybe give them some speed off the bench. Shouldn't be too hard to find one of those once Druw's career is officially deemed over (and when he washes out with the Sox, it will be).

The only upside of the Jones signing? It's a clear indication that the Sox aren't done. They can pretend that Kotsay/Jones and a juggling of the starters will fill the DH role this year, but that's a load of crap. Kenny is a bright man and he saw what happened last year, as Adam Dunn and Bobby Abreu were signed for relative peanuts shortly before the start of the season because no market ever developed for their services.

Since then, the economy has only gotten worse and teams have only felt the impacts of such for a longer time. Money will be even tighter this off-season and possibly even more high quality free agents will be available for a 1 year, $5M deal or the like. Kenny knows this is a distinct possibility and like always, is lying in the weeds waiting to add a player no one thought he'd be able to.

One such guy I'm salivating over? Johnny Damon. Why not? The Yanks seemed to have moved on and how many teams out there want to spend big money on a 36-year old leadoff guy who doesn't really run anymore, can't play well in the field, and will miss time throughout the year? Yet Damon's numbers remain strong and he still considers himself a high-priced guy, meaning he might be very late to accept the new realities of the free agent market.

Sounds a lot like Abreu (another aging Yankee cast-off) last year, doesn't it? Damon might just slip through the cracks, and might just end up on the Southside. He'd fit - Ozzie likes the idea of being able to juggle the OF and DH spots a bit, keeping Quentin healthy, keeping Rios and Pierre's legs fresh, and allowing Damon to rest his aging body. Damon would ably fill the #2 hole, with the long-proven top of the order skills that have lead teams to titles his whole career.

Wouldn't his .280+ average, 15+ HRs, 15+ steals, and .350+ OBA look good in that #2 slot? Right behind Pierre, the near-perfect lead-off guy for Ozzie? Ahead of Quentin and Paulie, with a back of the order that features dynamic young bats like Alexie, Rios, and Beckham, as well as a solid vet in AJ?

Who knows - Damon could sign tomorrow for $20M for 2. I know nothing about who's interested in him or what the Sox are really looking for. But my guess is that the Sox are just waiting to cheaply fill that DH with the best value guy who gets left behind during the free agent signing period. It'll probably come out of nowhere, be someone the Sox haven't ever been linked to (because the supposed asking price was out of reach), and happen very late in the off-season.

I just hope it's someone like Damon who fills a real need, and not just some washed up slugger with huge holes in his swing that will clog up the Sox order. Aside from Thome, who showed himself amazingly capable of driving in runs (his average with runners in scoring position and with runners on-base were ALWAYS well higher than his normal such numbers), I'm not interested in some cheesy DH bat-for hire. I want someone who's a bit more dynamic, like an Abreu or a Damon.

Let's hope the fates again smile on the Sox this off-season. And that Druw Jones gets cut before we're forced to watch him pretend to care about hitting.

HAPPY! HAPPY! JOY! JOY!

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"Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!" - Harry Dunne

I've made my dissatisfaction with Kenny's off-season moves very, very clear. Mainly I've focused on Teahen, but I also really don't like the Andruw Jones signing. I actually just wrote a fairly sizeable amount about how incredibly terrible that signing was, but then I realized I actually meant to write about today's events. So check back in later this week for a pair of posts detailing my thoughts on the bench signings and the minor pen shake-up.

Because today, today we celebrate. I just got an email from a Cubs fan buddy who said, and I quote, "Congratulations on acquiring the worst player in baseball."

My response - actually my response was like 10 pages, most of which I'll repeat in this post, but this was the grand finale - "I am not exaggerating when I say that to me the Sox just made the single best move this off-season that I ever could have hoped for. No other realistic transaction would have helped their team like the one they just pulled off. Nothing."


So why do we have such differing opinions of this player? While my buddy is a Cubs fan and thus inherently less schooled in true baseball wisdom, he actually does know a good deal about the game and has educated me in a number of areas and with a number of insightful theories (some of which I'm sure I'll share here).

So what was his beef? First and foremost, his view was absolutely skewed by being a Cubs fan. For some reason, Cubs fans HATE Pierre. In their minds they acquired one of the best players in the game and ended up with a career-worst year that tanked their clubs hopes that year.

In reality? Pierre had the SAME year with the Cubs that he's had every season since 2001. As I posted last time, this guy is one of the most remarkably consistent ballplayers of his generation:

• For the past two seasons, Pierre has played part-time, so let's combine and reduce those into one 650 AB year and then look at what he's done since becoming a regular in 2001:

2008-2009 - 650 ABs, .295 avg, 192 hits, 86 R, 60 SB
2007 - 668 AB, .293 avg, 196 hits, 96 R, 64 SB
2006 - 699 AB, .292 avg, 204 hits, 87 R, 58 SB
2005 - 656 AB, .276 avg, 181 hits, 96 R, 57 SB
2004 - 678 AB, .326 avg, 221 hits, 100 R, 45 SB
2003 - 668 AB, .305 avg, 204 hits, 100 R, 65 SB
2002 - 592 AB, .287 avg, 170 hits, 90 R, 47 SB
2001 - 617 AB, .327 avg, 202 hits, 108 R, 46 SB

Can you even pick out the year he was with the Cubs? Is there any stretch that he went from being incredible awesome to bad? Nope - some numbers jump around, but at the end of the day, he gives 650+ ABs, around 200 hits, 95 runs, and 50 SBs. There isn't a season in there where he's significantly deviated from that expectation. Not one.

The simple fact is that the Cubs had high hopes in 2006, as they do every year, but they were dashed by Marshall, Marmol, Rusch, Guzman, Mateo, Prior, Walrong, Kuk Ryu, and Williams combining for 80(!) starts, despite EVERY ONE of them posting an ERA over 5.32!

How is that Pierre's fault? Even the Cubs offensive troubles weren't Pierre's fault - DLee got hurt, ARam and Jacque Jones had poor starts, and Ronny Cedeno had 572 plate appearances.

I tell you all of this because as Sox fans, you're surely surrounded by Cubs fans, and those Cubs fans will inevitably crap on this move. Ignore them - their opinions are uneducated and baseless. But as a Sox fan, you should already know this.


Having said all that, my buddy did bring up a couple of gripes about Pierre that even the most unbiased of observers will mention when commenting on this move. In fact, what he said will be the stock complaints you will hear from everyone - Cubs fans, local commentators, and national opinion makers. Heck, even your fellow Sox fans will bring these up, so I'll quote him and then discuss the virtues of these various concerns:

"Nothing like a leadoff hitter who can't get on base, hit for any power whatsoever, and has a weak throwing arm all while being overpaid."

Taken one at a time:

1. Pierre can't get on base.

OK, this is based in truth. You'll notice in my listing of his year-by-year numbers I left out OBA, which is a key stat for any hitter, but especially for a lead-off hitter. Yeah, that was on purpose. Pierre's OBAs just aren't that good.

But they also aren't terrible. Yes he's had a bunch of seasons in the .320-.330 range, which is mildly low for a leadoff guy. But he's also had a few in the .360-.370 range, which is outstanding. Over the course of his career? .348. Dude, that is absolutely solid for a leadoff hitter. No, it's not amazing, but if he gets on at a .348 clip this season, that will NOT be a weakness. And that's very possible - he left a pitcher friendly park in LA for the Cell, and yet still is coming off a .365 OBA in 425 plate appearance season.

One final note - you never hear anyone complain about Ichiro's inability to walk. Here's a guy who only walks 6 out of every 100 plate appearances. Yet he's absolutely 100% rightfully known as one of the best lead-off hitters of all time. Pierre walks 5.5 times out of every 100 plate appearances, so why does he get so much more crap for it? Sure, Ichiro is a career .333 hitter, but Pierre's a career .301 hitter. Does that difference make Ichiro a living legend and yet Pierre a piece of garbage?

I think the more accurate assessment is Ichiro is one of the best lead-off hitters ever, while Pierre is simply one of the top 10 lead-off hitters of his generation. Given that Pierre hasn't lost a step, I'm not going to let a skewed view of Pierre's walk rate take away from all he's accomplished.

2. Pierre doesn't hit for any power.

Combine this with #1 and you start to wonder, what does this guy do? Let's just say that Pierre does resort back to the .326-.331 OBA range he put up every season from 05-08. Combined with his guaranteed lack of any power (he's never hit more than 3 HRs), will this prove the naysayers right about how little he does for your club?

Nope. First off, because everything is relative. Of course I wish the Sox had invented a time machine and gone back to acquire 1983 Rickey Henderson or 1986 Tim Raines, but the reality is that the good contact, good OBA, great speed, decent power lead-off hitter is the single hardest thing in all of baseball to find.

Ace pitchers? There's a handful of them every season, it's always changing, and they can be had in free agency or for a boatload of prospects. Big boppers? The most over-saturated keystone commodity out there, given that you really only need two big bats to win the title. Catchers, Middle Infielders, Centerfielders? All key pieces to a championship team, but you can survive with a great defensive role player type.

But a top notch lead-off hitter? Those are SO rare and even harder to get ahold of. How many leadoff hitters steal 40+ bases, hit over .290, get on base at a .375 clip, can jack 15+ HRs, know how to bunt, are consistent producers who avoid prolonged slumps, and get the fine art of using base-running to change the game?

The simple reality is that those guys don't exist, and the ones who come closest are nearly impossible to get (check out the asking price for Carl Crawford, or talk to Indians or Mariners about Sizemore or Ichiro). So ANY leadoff you're going to acquire is going to be missing something. The question is how much will he be missing and how important are those pieces.

With Pierre, you're not getting any power. Personally - I don't care. A lead-off hitter's job is to consistently spark the rest of the offense. Power is not even remotely required to do that, so don't waste a second worrying about Juan's lack of it.

And as I said, a .325-.330 OBA is a very distinct possibility. And that hurts - you definitely want your lead-off hitter getting on base in front of your big hitters. But .325-.330 is not the end of the world. Most speedy lead-off hitters are in the .325-.350 range anyway, so you're not losing much versus all the teams you're trying to beat.

More importantly though, if you scroll down the rest of that prototypical leadoff hitter checklist (i.e. a description of Rickey), then you'll start to see why I love Juan Pierre.

• Consistency - check.

This is the most-underrated attribute of a lead-off hitter, one that none of the "experts," including the stat freaks, ever mention. But if you've ever regularly watched baseball (I mean one team, day in, day out, for a whole season), you know that your offense often goes as your lead-off hitter goes. We've seen it plenty with the Sox - remember the Kenny Lofton year, when he sparked us for the first month and raised everyone's hopes? Then he went stone cold and so did the team.

The number two hitter was no longer just trying to take some pitches and move him over, often times sneaking singles through holes created in the infield. The number three hitter was no longer looking just to drive the ball and bring a guy in from third, but instead trying to carry the team every time up. And the big boppers were finding that their three run-homers and two-run doubles were solo shots and harmless bases empty, two-out doubles.

The Sox went through the same thing with Ray Durham's streaks and with Pods' injuries. When those guys weren't going, it didn't matter that a string of big hitters were waiting behind, the Sox offense just couldn't get regular runs without something happening at the top.

If there's anything that Pierre brings to the table, it's consistency. As I showed, every year he basically puts up the same numbers. And it's more than just yearly consistency - the guy is consistent month-to-month. I just went through all his splits since 2004 and rarely does he ever hit below .260 or .270 in a month.

But equally as important to being consistent is being healthy. And Pierre is ALWAYS healthy. Check those yearly numbers again - do you see how many ABs he's getting? Before becoming a part-timer in LA, Pierre hadn't missed a SINGLE GAME in five straight seasons. Only a glut of outfielders in LA has been able to keep this guy off the field.

The end result - a guy who regular clocks in at over 200 hits. Wanna know how many times the Sox have pulled off that feat since 1936? Twice - Nellie Fox in 1954 and Albert Belle in 1998. Juan Pierre has done it four times this decade. Throw in his 30-40 walks a year and you see why he's able to consistently score over 95 runs (5 times this decade). Since Ray Durham finished off a long stretch of 100+ run seasons in 2001, Iguchi (in 2006) is the only other top of the order hitter the Sox have had break that barrier.

The simple fact is that Pierre comes to play every day and every day finds a way to help his offense. And if you get caught up on his low walk total you're gonna miss the consistently high rate of hits and runs he's recording, both of which make him a plus lead-off man.

• Speed - check.
  

There are guys who can steal some bases and then there are guys like Juan Pierre. As a full-timer, he's never failed to steal 45 bases. His last season as a regular - 2007 - he stole 64 bases. Over the past two years he stole 70 bases, despite getting just over a season's worth of playing time. This is one of those guys I salivate over - someone who's such a threat to steal that he effects how the pitcher handles the #8, #9, #2, #3, and #4 hitters. That means throughout the game, the pitcher is spending about half the at-bats worried about JP's legs.

That's why the statheads are wrong about the stolen base - because it does more than just advance you one base. It changes the whole make-up of the game. And Pierre even does it at a highly efficient rate, being successful at about a 75% clip. Even the statheads start to cede that the SB is valuable when you're that good at it.

• Knows the art of leading off - check.

As I've just discussed, Pierre is more than just a guy with some speed and he's more than just a freak track star. Pierre knows how to steal bases in large quantities, knows how to do so at a great success rate, and knows how to turn those skills into a disruptive force for the opposing team and a facilitating force for his own.

But it's more than that - Pierre also knows how to do countless other little things. He's renowned for getting to the park early and rolling balls down the lines to gauge how bunts will play. Being able to bunt is HUGE in terms of keeping consistent, especially when you're not a big walks guy. Tough pitcher, cold weather, bit of a slump? All perfect times to lay a bunt or two down and cheat your way on base. Plus, Pierre won't always be in a leading off situation. He'll come up with no outs and a guy on first or second, and then that bunting skill becomes a way to keep the offense grooving along.

Pierre also makes incredible contact - despite logging around 750 plate appearances in a number of seasons, he's never once had more than 52 Ks and most often is in the 35-45 range. With that kind of speed, you want to be putting the ball in play. Something that never is figured into the stats - how many times does Pierre make contact and force an error from an infielder trying to hurry a throw to catch the speedster?

Equally important, again, often times Pierre will be hitting with guys on base and you're gonna want him making contact and moving them along. Despite the serious set-backs of Teahen and Andruw Jones, the Sox have actually made good progress moving away from strike-out types and getting more contact-prone hitters. Pierre will make the Sox even better in that regard.

In all, yes, Pierre is not the absolute perfect lead-off hitter. But given what's available out there and given all that he does, Pierre is a hell of a find. He'll do so much to make this offense go, and maybe most importantly, he'll keep Ozzie thinking smallball. Pierre will be exciting and effective, and with any support around him, should be a key to sparking a very solid offense this year.

3. Pierre has a weak throwing arm.

OK, again this is true. But again, it's not that big of a deal. Pierre is a decent outfielder, but not great, and that terrible arm is a major reason. However, the Sox have Rios to play center and seem content with moving Quentin over to right. I'm hoping that's what they do - while Quentin probably won't be great in right, he'll be serviceable. And supposedly Rios is a much better centerfielder - his natural spot - than rightfielder.

Most certainly, Pierre is far better off in left than center. Much like Pods, putting him in left can turn him from a liability to an asset. His arm will be better hidden and his fielding and range will both be pluses for a traditionally weak outfield spot. I can't say I know a ton about his defense, but anyone who's played as much centerfield on as many good teams as he has should be a decent defender. I know he's got speed and I know he takes great pride in knowing the outfield dimensions and positioning himself correctly. Alongside Rios and Quentin, I think we've got a pretty athletic and capable outfield defensively.

4. Pierre is overpaid.

This is the most impressive part of the deal - the Sox are paying Pierre a pittance to play for them the next two seasons. Just $3M this year and $5M next. Remember, Chone Figgins, a very similar offensive player with injury concerns, just got $9M per for four years. Pierre himself originally was signed for $45M over five. Kenny Lofton got regular deals until he was 40, because teams always need guys who can lead-off.

But for some reason, as soon as Pierre signed that deal he was hammered as being overpaid. Despite the fact that supply and demand made his deal perfectly reasonable, given how important lead-off hitters are and how few can actually do the job with any regular success. He's done nothing but contribute in LA, even when losing his fulltime job - first to the signing of Andrew Jones, then to the Manny trade.

Most guys would have sulked after signing a big deal, doing exactly what he always had, and then being forced to the bench. Not Pierre - he turned himself into a valuable super-sub, sparking the Dodgers when they needed it in both 2008 and 2009 (the latter, when Manny was lost to a 50-game steroid suspension). To me that's one more asset on the checklist - being a great team player. Especially with franchise kids around, it's gonna be great to see such a selfless sort like Pierre play the game.

So even up near the $9M per he's owed each of the next two seasons, I still would have liked this deal for the Sox. But at $4M per - that is an absolute steal. With our payroll up against it, somehow Kenny found us the best lead-off man on the market and did so without forcing us to deal a significant piece to cut salary elsewhere.

Relating back to the quote that opened this post, this move today has me happier about the Sox than I ever thought I'd be this off-season, given the Getz-Teahen fiasco and my soon to be propounded on Druw Jones botch up. Pierre changes the outlook of things so much, especially when acquired at such a cheap salary hit. I've got every faith he'll produce - now my concerns are just whether Ozzie will be inspired by his presence and the more athletic lineup to finally get back to a more dynamic approach. The HRs will come - but that doesn't mean you can't run, bunt, steal, and so on. The best team is the one that can beat you in both ways. The Sox could be that team this year, if Ozzie will just let them.

The Teahen Herald

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So this will be only my third post since August ended, and all three will be about Mark Teahen - a mediocre utility guy.

Actually, that's why I keep writing these. Because Mark Teahen is just a mediocre utility guy. He's had over 1600 at-bats during the previous three seasons, and they've produced a very, VERY convincing body of work that Mark Teahen is mediocre. There were no flashes of potential, no great excuses for his troubles, no suggestion that he just needed a certain something or other to break out. Nope, Mark Teahen's resume screams that he is and always will be mediocre.

But apparently Kenny Williams feels otherwise. Apparently he saw something in those 1600+ ABs that didn't come through in the standard numbers. Yep, a consistent 500 at-bats a year for three straight years, all producing mediocrity, but somehow Kenny sees something different.

And thus I am forced to vent my anger here. Three times.

Why do I need to do it today? Because Kenny just signed Mr. Mediocre to a three year extension with the Sox, paying him just under $5M per.


In case you don't remember what kind of player Teahen is, allow myself to quote... myself:

• "He's a career .269-.331-.419 guy who averages about 9 steals a year and plays decent but not exceptional D.
  
  To put those numbers in perspective - they'd be mediocre for a 2B or SS, let alone the corner spots. Or more specifically, Scotty Pods this year, Brian Anderson in 2008, and Rob Mackowiak in 2007 all had higher slugging percentages than Teahen has had in any of the last three seasons. Just look at that list of players. Now think about the fact that they had MORE power than Teahen. Yep."

I was already broken-hearted about the fact that we gave up a prospect and were now going to give over 400-600 ABs to this guy, but now Kenny has decided to twist the knife by giving Teahen around the same amount of money that last off-season would have bought you one of these two players:

• .293 Avg, 15 HR, 96 R, 103 RBI, .390 OBA, .435 SLG while hitting #2 or #3 on one of the top 4 teams in baseball.
• .267 Avg, 38 HR, 81 R, 105 RBI, .398 OBA, .529 SLG while playing 1B, LF, and RF with regularity.

Those are the stat lines of Bobby Abreu and Adam Dunn, respectively - ever heard of em? And it's not like either of those stat lines were out of the ordinary - those are pretty much exactly what the teams who gave them $5M each thought they'd be buying. Abreu and Dunn are two of the most consistent producers in all of baseball. Neither has any personal or lockerroom issues or anything, and while both are subpar defenders, they are still fully capable of playing in the field everyday in the bigs.

The reason such players were signed for so cheap is because teams, just like the rest of us, do not have any money these days. Almost everyone is tapped out in their payroll. Free agency is quiet and non-lucrative for all but the chosen few. Abreu and Dunn were not outliers last off-season and there most certainly will be a couple more such cases this off-season.


Look at the relatively stable numbers Teahen has shown over the last three years, add in a (very non-guaranteed) bump from playing in a offensive-friendly Cell, and we can confidently predict what we'll get - average between .260 and .290, 10-20 HRs, 65-85 runs, 50-65 RBI, 320-.360 OBA, around a .425 SLG %, and 5-15 steals.

Compare those to what Dunn and Abreu got last off-season. Is there any question that Kenny just overpaid like a total moron?


Now let's add the $5M per that Kenny is blowing on Teahen (instead of sticking with the near costless Getz, who will at worst be equally mediocre, at best round into a nice role player) and throw it together with the $15M he stupidly stuck himself with in Rios, and think about all we could acquire in an absolute buyers market this off-season. Leadoff hitter? Check. Lefty and Righty out of the pen? Check. Slugging left-handed DH/corner OF? Check.

Basically, almost all of our needs could have been met with those $20M that Kenny has now given to Teahen (decidedly mediocre) and Rios (mediocre might be best-case).


I actually didn't give Kenny a ton of heat when we first made the Rios move, as I was trying to focus on the upside that he had and how it would fit so well with what I wanted to do. But time to reflect has made me realize that while the upside is there, it wasn't worth even close to $60M in this market. So I'm gonna hope Rios becomes that plus CF 30-30 guy everyone drooled over a few years ago, but I'm still gonna be bitter at Kenny for making a bad move in getting him at full price.

Similarly, Teahen could end up alright. Maybe he has a career year and hits .290 w/ 20 HRs, 75 R, and 75 RBI in 550 ABs (yes, that would be a career year for the 28-year old). You know, basically like Juan freakin Uribe did last year (had he been given 550 ABs). For $1M. After we cut him lose.

Am I saying bring back Uribe? Yes, but that's because I have an unhealthy but fully justified love affair with the man. But if I was being more "reasonable" my point would be that you can go out and find the Mark Teahens and Juan Uribes of the world for chump change. These kind of guys don't have big upside and have plenty of downside, and there are a lot of them. So take advantage of the market being in your favor and fill that spot for $1M and some incentives. Hell, get two of them and double the odds that one will turn out as you hoped.

Instead, Kenny just gave this pile of mediocrity $14M. In this market. After taking on the $60M that Rios is owed, while the guy was smack dab in the middle of a multi-year slump that was only getting worse.

So can you blame me for taking three straight posts to bitch about how idiotic the Sox are being of late?

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Because I don't ever want to be grouped with all the other whiners and cynics out there (why is it that local sports media is dominated by uber-negative types who revel in thinking the worst of everything?), I'll leave you with one positive rumor to come out of the winter meetings - the Sox are supposedly pursuing Juan Pierre.

I know, a lot of people out there hate Juan Pierre. You are idiots. Some things to chew on:

1. Chone Figgins, who's a very similar offensive player (same speed and lack of power, better OBA but lower average), was just given $36M over 4 years by the Mariners. Remember, Figgins spent the two seasons before his walk year regularly visiting the DL.

Considering that deal, does the $18.5M for the next two years that Pierre has left look that bad? Especially when you consider that unlike Figgins, Pierre NEVER misses time - regularly clocking in at 700+ plate appearances?

2. For the past two seasons, Pierre has played part-time, so let's combine and reduce those into one 650 AB year and then look at what he's done since becoming a regular in 2001:

08-09 - 650 ABs, .295 avg, 192 hits, 86 R, 60 SB
07 - 668 AB, .293 avg, 196 hits, 96 R, 64 SB
06 - 699 AB, .292 avg, 204 hits, 87 R, 58 SB
05 - 656 AB, .276 avg, 181 hits, 96 R, 57 SB
04 - 678 AB, .326 avg, 221 hits, 100 R, 45 SB
03 - 668 AB, .305 avg, 204 hits, 100 R, 65 SB
02 - 592 AB, .287 avg, 170 hits, 90 R, 47 SB
01 - 617 AB, .327 avg, 202 hits, 108 R, 46 SB

Have you ever seen such consistency in any player? Let alone a leadoff hitter? Isn't that the epitome of a leadoff hitter's job - to consistently spark the offense? Seriously, how much better would the Sox have been in every one of those seasons if they had Pierre's numbers instead of whatever piece of garbage they used to try to lead off?

Does Pierre walk? Nope. But he's no free-swinger - this guy only strikes out about 40 times a year, despite getting well over 700 plate appearances a year. And he makes up for his lack of walks by playing every single day, being the best base-stealer of his generation, and consistently getting hits. He bunts, makes good contact, and runs the bases well. In short, he does everything that we as Sox fans wish our guys would do.

3. Pierre would cost the Sox next to nothing to acquire, because the Dodgers so badly want to get out from under his salary (they have Manny, Kemp, and Ethier locked into their OF) and for some retarded reason, no one in baseball appreciates Pierre's value.

4. With Rios around, Pierre can play left, where he'd actually be a plus defender and his lack of an arm would be better hidden.

5. Pierre knows how to win, having sparked the 2003 Marlins to the World Series by hitting over .300 with 12 R, 7 RBI, 6 extra base hits, 3 steals, and 8 walks in 17 playoff games that year. He also showed himself a very impressive team player the past two seasons in LA, giving up his starting job for first the young guys and then Manny, but still bouncing back with tremendous production whenever he was called upon.


Hopefully Teahen makes me eat all three of these posts, but I fear that is not a very likely possibility, especially not for three straight seasons. I actually do have some confidence Rios can turn it around - he's a talented player and the fresh start here should make a difference. Here's to hoping the off-season was all he needed.

And if we can somehow get Juan Pierre, you're gonna see a very, very happy White Sox fan, despite Kenny's last two moves being financial missteps of a huge degree coming at the worst possible time to misspend money.

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