Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Teahen Herald

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So this will be only my third post since August ended, and all three will be about Mark Teahen - a mediocre utility guy.

Actually, that's why I keep writing these. Because Mark Teahen is just a mediocre utility guy. He's had over 1600 at-bats during the previous three seasons, and they've produced a very, VERY convincing body of work that Mark Teahen is mediocre. There were no flashes of potential, no great excuses for his troubles, no suggestion that he just needed a certain something or other to break out. Nope, Mark Teahen's resume screams that he is and always will be mediocre.

But apparently Kenny Williams feels otherwise. Apparently he saw something in those 1600+ ABs that didn't come through in the standard numbers. Yep, a consistent 500 at-bats a year for three straight years, all producing mediocrity, but somehow Kenny sees something different.

And thus I am forced to vent my anger here. Three times.

Why do I need to do it today? Because Kenny just signed Mr. Mediocre to a three year extension with the Sox, paying him just under $5M per.


In case you don't remember what kind of player Teahen is, allow myself to quote... myself:
  • "He's a career .269-.331-.419 guy who averages about 9 steals a year and plays decent but not exceptional D.

    To put those numbers in perspective - they'd be mediocre for a 2B or SS, let alone the corner spots. Or more specifically, Scotty Pods this year, Brian Anderson in 2008, and Rob Mackowiak in 2007 all had higher slugging percentages than Teahen has had in any of the last three seasons. Just look at that list of players. Now think about the fact that they had MORE power than Teahen. Yep."

I was already broken-hearted about the fact that we gave up a prospect and were now going to give over 400-600 ABs to this guy, but now Kenny has decided to twist the knife by giving Teahen around the same amount of money that last off-season would have bought you one of these two players:
  • .293 Avg, 15 HR, 96 R, 103 RBI, .390 OBA, .435 SLG while hitting #2 or #3 on one of the top 4 teams in baseball.
  • .267 Avg, 38 HR, 81 R, 105 RBI, .398 OBA, .529 SLG while playing 1B, LF, and RF with regularity.
Those are the stat lines of Bobby Abreu and Adam Dunn, respectively - ever heard of em? And it's not like either of those stat lines were out of the ordinary - those are pretty much exactly what the teams who gave them $5M each thought they'd be buying. Abreu and Dunn are two of the most consistent producers in all of baseball. Neither has any personal or lockerroom issues or anything, and while both are subpar defenders, they are still fully capable of playing in the field everyday in the bigs.

The reason such players were signed for so cheap is because teams, just like the rest of us, do not have any money these days. Almost everyone is tapped out in their payroll. Free agency is quiet and non-lucrative for all but the chosen few. Abreu and Dunn were not outliers last off-season and there most certainly will be a couple more such cases this off-season.


Look at the relatively stable numbers Teahen has shown over the last three years, add in a (very non-guaranteed) bump from playing in a offensive-friendly Cell, and we can confidently predict what we'll get - average between .260 and .290, 10-20 HRs, 65-85 runs, 50-65 RBI, 320-.360 OBA, around a .425 SLG %, and 5-15 steals.

Compare those to what Dunn and Abreu got last off-season. Is there any question that Kenny just overpaid like a total moron?


Now let's add the $5M per that Kenny is blowing on Teahen (instead of sticking with the near costless Getz, who will at worst be equally mediocre, at best round into a nice role player) and throw it together with the $15M he stupidly stuck himself with in Rios, and think about all we could acquire in an absolute buyers market this off-season. Leadoff hitter? Check. Lefty and Righty out of the pen? Check. Slugging left-handed DH/corner OF? Check.

Basically, almost all of our needs could have been met with those $20M that Kenny has now given to Teahen (decidedly mediocre) and Rios (mediocre might be best-case).


I actually didn't give Kenny a ton of heat when we first made the Rios move, as I was trying to focus on the upside that he had and how it would fit so well with what I wanted to do. But time to reflect has made me realize that while the upside is there, it wasn't worth even close to $60M in this market. So I'm gonna hope Rios becomes that plus CF 30-30 guy everyone drooled over a few years ago, but I'm still gonna be bitter at Kenny for making a bad move in getting him at full price.

Similarly, Teahen could end up alright. Maybe he has a career year and hits .290 w/ 20 HRs, 75 R, and 75 RBI in 550 ABs (yes, that would be a career year for the 28-year old). You know, basically like Juan freakin Uribe did last year (had he been given 550 ABs). For $1M. After we cut him lose.

Am I saying bring back Uribe? Yes, but that's because I have an unhealthy but fully justified love affair with the man. But if I was being more "reasonable" my point would be that you can go out and find the Mark Teahens and Juan Uribes of the world for chump change. These kind of guys don't have big upside and have plenty of downside, and there are a lot of them. So take advantage of the market being in your favor and fill that spot for $1M and some incentives. Hell, get two of them and double the odds that one will turn out as you hoped.

Instead, Kenny just gave this pile of mediocrity $14M. In this market. After taking on the $60M that Rios is owed, while the guy was smack dab in the middle of a multi-year slump that was only getting worse.

So can you blame me for taking three straight posts to bitch about how idiotic the Sox are being of late?

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Because I don't ever want to be grouped with all the other whiners and cynics out there (why is it that local sports media is dominated by uber-negative types who revel in thinking the worst of everything?), I'll leave you with one positive rumor to come out of the winter meetings - the Sox are supposedly pursuing Juan Pierre.

I know, a lot of people out there hate Juan Pierre. You are idiots. Some things to chew on:

1. Chone Figgins, who's a very similar offensive player (same speed and lack of power, better OBA but lower average), was just given $36M over 4 years by the Mariners. Remember, Figgins spent the two seasons before his walk year regularly visiting the DL.

Considering that deal, does the $18.5M for the next two years that Pierre has left look that bad? Especially when you consider that unlike Figgins, Pierre NEVER misses time - regularly clocking in at 700+ plate appearances?

2. For the past two seasons, Pierre has played part-time, so let's combine and reduce those into one 650 AB year and then look at what he's done since becoming a regular in 2001:

08-09 - 650 ABs, .295 avg, 192 hits, 86 R, 60 SB
07 - 668 AB, .293 avg, 196 hits, 96 R, 64 SB
06 - 699 AB, .292 avg, 204 hits, 87 R, 58 SB
05 - 656 AB, .276 avg, 181 hits, 96 R, 57 SB
04 - 678 AB, .326 avg, 221 hits, 100 R, 45 SB
03 - 668 AB, .305 avg, 204 hits, 100 R, 65 SB
02 - 592 AB, .287 avg, 170 hits, 90 R, 47 SB
01 - 617 AB, .327 avg, 202 hits, 108 R, 46 SB

Have you ever seen such consistency in any player? Let alone a leadoff hitter? Isn't that the epitome of a leadoff hitter's job - to consistently spark the offense? Seriously, how much better would the Sox have been in every one of those seasons if they had Pierre's numbers instead of whatever piece of garbage they used to try to lead off?

Does Pierre walk? Nope. But he's no free-swinger - this guy only strikes out about 40 times a year, despite getting well over 700 plate appearances a year. And he makes up for his lack of walks by playing every single day, being the best base-stealer of his generation, and consistently getting hits. He bunts, makes good contact, and runs the bases well. In short, he does everything that we as Sox fans wish our guys would do.

3. Pierre would cost the Sox next to nothing to acquire, because the Dodgers so badly want to get out from under his salary (they have Manny, Kemp, and Ethier locked into their OF) and for some retarded reason, no one in baseball appreciates Pierre's value.

4. With Rios around, Pierre can play left, where he'd actually be a plus defender and his lack of an arm would be better hidden.

5. Pierre knows how to win, having sparked the 2003 Marlins to the World Series by hitting over .300 with 12 R, 7 RBI, 6 extra base hits, 3 steals, and 8 walks in 17 playoff games that year. He also showed himself a very impressive team player the past two seasons in LA, giving up his starting job for first the young guys and then Manny, but still bouncing back with tremendous production whenever he was called upon.


Hopefully Teahen makes me eat all three of these posts, but I fear that is not a very likely possibility, especially not for three straight seasons. I actually do have some confidence Rios can turn it around - he's a talented player and the fresh start here should make a difference. Here's to hoping the off-season was all he needed.

And if we can somehow get Juan Pierre, you're gonna see a very, very happy White Sox fan, despite Kenny's last two moves being financial missteps of a huge degree coming at the worst possible time to misspend money.

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